Concern For Our Penguin

*Photo Taken Earlier This Week*

Petunia...come home! The family misses you! Please, please take good care of her. She has a rare disease that not only affects her immune system (hence the protective bubble), but also her breathing (hence the rather loud air flow device). She is a sweet little penguin that needs the special TLC that only a loving family (whose children out number their parents) can give.

PS: Please make sure Petunia gets her snow breathing treatment for at minimum 60 minutes/4x a day. Her life depends on it!

PSS: It is believed that Santa, R1 and R2 are off grieving the loss of their beloved yard mates. Let's all please give them a little time and space to sort through their emotions.

Who is this man?

Who is this man, you ask?


...and why has he chosen to steal lovely Christmas decorations?
He claims it is all in the name of ethical treatment for penguins, but we suspect other motivations.

The Mazza family awoke this morning to find all decorations stolen from their lawn.


The criminals involved have left only a few dangling lights and stakes in the ground. This man claims to be innocent, but has been involved from the beginning. He is known to associate with the Reindeer Liberation Front (RLF) and heads up the organization known as PETOP, People for the Ethical Treatment of Penguins. As with the RLF, PETOP is known for its criminal activity including trespassing, burglary, forcing animals to pose for pictures and other unnecessary grinchiness....hardly ethical....

We know how close you are, Mr. Scrooge...and we are even closer.


All will be revealed in time...

Note From An Angry Grandmother

TO: Reindeer Liberation Front
RE: Jamie Mazza (aka. Clark Griswald) Deernapping Tragedy


You have made two fatal mistakes

1) You stole the reindeer that I bought for my grandchildren, the one that moves its head from side to side and gently bobbles up and down.
2) You took the beloved reindeer and left that hideous inflatable snow globe.

The appropriate authorities have been contacted.
You had better pray they find you before I do.

FROM: Rosemary Coleman (aka. Blessed to be a Blessing)

NEWSFLASH!

December 13--The Smoking Gun has learned more information on the recent reindeer-napping crime that has plagued The Mazza Family of Encinitas, California. Neal Nybo, pastor at nearby Solana Beach Presbyterian Church, has been implicated in the crime and is believed to be working with the Reindeer Liberation Front, who have claimed responsibility for the kidnapping.


"I just want my reindeer back," said Alison Mazza, 5, the youngest of the Mazza clan.


In an exclusive, The Smoking Gun has obtained a copy of an e-mail sent out to the staff of Solana Beach Presbyterian Church by Mr. Nybo. The text can be found below:

The Smoking Gun wonders why Mr. Nybo would be interested in spreading news of a crime for others to enjoy? Could it be that he was in on the theft from the beginning?

Stay tuned for more news as it breaks...

Have you seen this man?

Our Crime Lab Is Hot On The Trail!

Beware! A team of highly talented crime scene investigators are working diligently to discover who is behind this heinous holiday crime. We are very close to naming suspects.

We Won't Negotiate with Deer Nappers